懂得拒绝，恰是好的尊重 生活总有点欺软怕硬。一个完全不懂拒绝的人，也不可能赢得真正的尊重。
Know how to refuse, is the best respect for life is always a bit of a bully. It is impossible for a person who knows no refusal to win real respect.
不懂拒绝的人，迟早要学会狠下心肠。
People who do not refuse to refuse, sooner or later, learn to be ruthless.
1 不懂拒绝，是一种病
1 does not understand refusal, is a kind of disease
很多人都喜欢《欢乐颂》里的关雎尔，因为她人长得甜美，心地也好。但她也常常为人诟病：正因为心地太好，她不懂得拒绝别人。
Many people love the "Ode to joy" in the Juer, because she looks like a sweet, kindhearted. But she also often criticisms: because she is so good, she does not know how to refuse.
关雎尔很多时候加班加得晚，都是因为帮别人做事。终于有一次，同事又病了请她完成剩下的工作，后也是她签名确认。
A lot of time off Juer overtime increases late, because there are things to help others. At last, a colleague was ill and asked her to finish the rest of the work, and finally she signed her signature.
同事做的那一部分错漏百出，经理知道后却只骂了关雎尔。因为后签名的是她，所有责任都要她来承担。而那个同事，出事之后一句话也没替她说，也没有一句安慰。
Colleagues do that part of the mistakes, the manager knows only after the curse off Juer. Because her last signature was her, all the responsibilities were to be borne by her. And the colleague, after the accident, did not say a word for her, and there was no consolation.
关雎尔的傻白甜行径，其实也是今天许多人的写照：
Close Juer silly white sweet acts, but also a lot of people today portrayal:
因为想塑造自己的良好形象，所以对朋友的请求来者不拒。终于，我们温暖了别人，却累死了自己。
Because want to create a good image of themselves, so all of the friends request. Finally, we warm others, but tired of ourselves.
2 你有多重要？
2 how important are you-
“TA一定是走投无路了，才来找我……”、“要是我把TA拒绝了，我就是坏人……”这是我们在接受求助时的心理。
"TA must be out of the way to come to me..." "If I refuse TA, I'm a bad man..." This is our psychology of accepting help.
不懂拒绝的背后，是我们往往将自己放在太重要的位置。
In the back of refusing, we often put ourselves in a very important position.
斗米恩升米仇的故事，却告诉了我们一个无法违背的人性：
The story of the vengeance of the Dou mien tells us a human nature that can't be violated.
帮得了一次，就有第二次；帮得了第二次，就有后面无穷多次。而无休止帮助的剧情发展，往往是始于感恩，终于嫌隙。当哪一次帮不上忙，你就会变成罪人。
One time, there are second times; second times, there are many times. Endless help the plot development, often begins with thanksgiving, finally has. When you can't help you, you will become a sinner.